The Email I Wish the School Would Send

This past week I got a peppy email from the charter school informing me that we have to do another round of testing this month.   The message was full of words like "exciting" and "dynamic."  The whole tone of it seemed to suggest that our kids are in for a huge treat.  Now, I'm not complaining about having to do the tests.  Well, maybe I am, just a little.  The testing is what we agreed to put up when we decided to sell out and homeschool our kids within the public school system so that we could have access to all that wonderful funding that makes things like music lessons and karate possible.  Mostly what irritates me though is the way the school tries so hard to sell the testing to us.  I understand that they are trying to put things in a positive light, and I also understand that the state of California is watching what they do, but just once I wish they would send out a testing letter like this:

Dear Families,

We regret to inform you that another round of testing is coming up next week.  We deeply apologize for the inconvenience this will no doubt cause you.  We know that as homeschoolers, every school day is precious, that you would like to spend every day that is free of dentist appointments or projectile vomiting on working on your chosen curriculum, or going on fun field trips.  We also understand that at this time of year,  when many families have fallen behind where they would like to be with their schoolwork and are struggling to get caught up, it is a huge nuisance to have to drop everything and fall even more behind while the children waste time on a test that is meaningless if you're not teaching common core (and we know most of you aren't, in spite of what our home page might say).  We know the frustration you must feel because you've only just gotten back into your school routine after just coming back from Christmas vacation.  In spite of all that we hope you will bear with us this necessary evil that keeps our school going, and encourage your children to do the best they can so that we can keep those instructional funds coming to you.

To show our appreciation,  we will be giving you parents free trips to Tahiti over the summer.  We know you need it.

Sincerely,

Some School Administrator